002 - The phone. The phone is ringing.

[worstvikingever]

[Hiccup has found the phone.

He has no idea what it is of course, so he's basically playing around with it until YOUR PHONE RINGS or something idek and he ends up accidentally making a call.]

What... is this thing?

[The voice is slightly distant, as if he's holding the receiver away from him... which he is, actually. He's holding it up and looking at it.]

I can't even tell what it's made of.

[Other such comments persist. You might want to interrupt him before he breaks open the thing to figure out how it works.

Residents of his house can interrupt him with action, but all others are phone calls.]

Comments

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

[Very snippily:] It's a personal handheld operator notification exchanger. Most people here call it a 'phone' for short. Are you new here, I take it?

[worstvikingever]

[There's a yelp and a loud clatter as the phone is dropped to the ground. Some quiet mild viking cursing ensues ("great odin's hairy eyeball!"), and then finally, amidst the rustling of the phone probably being held wrong, he responds. It's still a little distant. He's still holding it wrong.]

I'm sorry... say that again?

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

It's a personal handheld operator notification exchanger. A P.H.O.N.E. Are you dense? What year are you from?

[worstvikingever]

Uh... I don't think my years match up with other peoples' years.

[He clears his throat nervously.]

Pretty much everything in the house is completely new for me.

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

Speak up, boy. Are you even holding it right? The cord goes down.

[A melodramatic sigh.]

I'm to be the welcome wagon, am I? You'd best learn quickly or you'll find yourself in a world of hurt come February.

[cawcawroar.livejournal.com]

It's a phone! You use it to call people and order pizza and stuff.

[k1-sauce.livejournal.com]

It's a phone. It's made of plastic.

You're also using it wrong and probably can't hear me so why am I talking.

[worstvikingever]

The cord goes down?

Oh. Okay. I think... okay. And your voice is coming through this end, which probably means this is where I speak into?

[Now he's at a normal volume.]

Er... well. You don't have to be a welcome wagon if you don't want to. I've been here a couple days already. It's a lot to get used to, yeah, but I'm getting the hang of it. I think.

...and what's wrong with February?

[worstvikingever]

[He's fumbling with it still.]

Call people? Call them what?

And what's pizza?

[worstvikingever]

No, I think I... I might be getting the hang of it?

[LEARNING FROM EXPERIENCE YES]

What's plastic?

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

My dear boy, [yeah like that's not sarcastic at all....] I am an ergaleomancer. It's my duty to assist the people. Even if I have discovered that it's rather distasteful work. I'll explain what I can, but I warn you, I'm not in the habit of speaking simply, so you'll have to keep up.

Are there any gaps in your comprehension of this place?

And February holds another holiday. Things go haywire around here when the holidays come.

[k1-sauce.livejournal.com]

It's a synthetic material. It's pretty durable, but less expensive than metal or wood. Get used to it. There's a lot of it.

[worstvikingever]

[He sighs, a bit exasperated. If the help's going to be sarcastic why bother? But info is info.]

Well if I'm still learning about the place, how am I supposed to know if there's gaps or not?

Although the holiday thing is sounding like a pretty big one.

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

Do you know what a calendar is?

[worstvikingever]

That's so weird! Where does it come from? [He's totally fascinated omg this is amazing]

[1/2]

[cawcawroar.livejournal.com]

I meant you can use it to talk to people. You dial their phone number, and then the phone at their house rings and you call them whatever you want!

The phones here are pretty old-fashioned, though. Back home, we have little ones that fit in your pocket!

[worstvikingever]

Yeah, sure. And I know what holidays are, but I'm pretty sure my holidays are pretty different from the holidays here.

[2/2]

[cawcawroar.livejournal.com]

You've never had pizza?

[k1-sauce.livejournal.com]

They're...polymers made from...I think it comes from plants? Trees? I'm sure it's alien to you, but it's common as dirt around here.

[worstvikingever]

[Still amazed by the phone, kthx]

That's amazing! So your voice goes through... the wires, huh? I wonder how that works...

And no, no pizza.

[ergaleomancer.livejournal.com]

A bit later, go find the calendar. Look on it to see what holidays are mentioned. I couldn't begin to say what will happen on any of them--generally it's unpredictable and that seems to be partially the point. To keep us guessing and unsettled.

Generally? They're dangerous. I personally like to prepare by setting up the basement as a fortified shelter and stocking it with nonperishable food, water, and weapons~.

Which brings me to another point. Death is meaningless here~. [And that sounds like it gives her quite a bit of glee.]

[worstvikingever]

Okay, so they're not natural. Got it.

Cool. Seems pretty durable, yeah. So it's used all over the place, huh?

[k1-sauce.livejournal.com]

Anything you find that isn't metal, wood, or glass? Prooobably plastic.

[worstvikingever]

That... sounds pretty serious.

Wait, you mean like no one cares if someone dies? That's pretty cruel.

[worstvikingever]

Wow.

Uh... thanks. For explaining that.